Change is good. Depression is bad.

I know I've been gone for a min. But I'm back with a vengeance (maybe). Today I was just reflecting on some things & with that I ran across a journal entry from January of this year & I'm so happy to not be in that place anymore. Depression is just horrible & I hated not feeling like my normal self. But for those people out there still suffering, you have my sympathy. I know all too well how it feels to want to just scream but its not enough.

My thoughts in January were all dark, scary, and suicide based. I was so unhappy with my life that I wanted to end it yet I felt like I couldn't do that to my family. Something that stood out to me today was:

I laugh when I really want to cry, I say something because the silence is killing me. I say nothing because the silence is comforting. I cry when the laughs aren't enough.

Sometimes I still feel like that, but I'm not wanting to hide from myself or my family & friends. So I'm doing a whole lot better & giving this life thing a chance.