Crush.....

Tumblr is down, so I'ma just chill over here..

I have the biggest crush right now.. Dude doesn't even know, I wouldn't even know how to express to him how fly I think he is..

Zhane's - Crush can only describe exactly how I feel... So this is to you Mr. Unnamed guy.

Tumblr

So I just created one.. It looks way easier and fun-er than sitting down and having to blog.. So catch me at http://ebony1nicole.tumblr.com

What's new with me?! Shit...

Well still haven't found a job, but I know one is coming.. Moved in with my Pops & his wife, my *cough* step mom. I'll have more on her later..

My former co-worker hit me up on Facebook asking me to call her.. Basically she wants me to help put our former boss UNDER the fuckin jail for possibly trying to take a hit out on her estranged husband. Shit, she could of asked any other person who had a issue with chick for this, but I guess a "disgruntled employee" seems so much better. (Could you smell the sarcasm in that?)

Besides all that, I have been in Petersburg for less than a week and I miss my mom.. Glad she isn't that far.. But so much further than I like. I'll go into more details about that too..

How Shallow Am I?!

A few facts about me:

1. I'm not a college graduate but I think I'm very smart in certain things.
2. I'm no better than the next person, but I hold myself up high.
3. I'm broke & in need of a job.

With that last one, I can't work anywhere.. This is where the shallowness comes in at. I refuse to be 23, going on 24 working at Wal Mart, Burger King, some grocery store, or Busch Gardens. I'm not saying others in my situation are worst off, but for me.. I can't do it. I'm too smart and have too much experience to work at any of those places.. My mom & sister feel like since I'm hard up for money, working anywhere is an option.. I'm the type of person that if I'm not happy working somewhere it shows in my work.. Shit I've been fired from a job because I didn't want to be there so I started showing up late.. How stupid right?! Not to me.. IDK what I should do, but what I want to do is find a position that is cool for the moment, stack some bread, then carry my ass back to NY..

I'd make someone happy.. Right?

I guess you can call me the Serial Single Lady.. I haven't had 1 real serious relationship or at least what I would consider serious (Together 2 years+) and that makes me wonder am I the reason or was it the guys..

During my times of self reflection, I think I'm a great catch.. I'm everything the next girl isn't.. I don't nag, I give my boo space, I give him love, I know my boundaries, and I give all of me.. So far so good right? Well to add to my list of pros: I cook, clean (sometimes), pay for my own stuff, and put it down in the bedroom.. Sounds good right? And to top it off, I'm not crazy.. No slashing tires, no disrespecting your parents, etc.. Well why in the hell am I single?!!

Most of the guys I dated before weren't in it for the long run or just weren't right... Someone told me a while back, it's not my time to be in a relationship.. So it makes me think, wtf am I supposed to do until the right one comes? Cuz I know going to look for him isn't going to make him come faster.. Guess I'll just wait my turn right?!

This week already sucks!!

Okay it's only Wednesday but the week thus far is in the shitter.. I pissed my boo off by saying something that should of never been said to your soon to be/current significant other; haven't done any hair/make any money; & I haven't found a job.. OH! On top of that, my big cousin is performing in NYC this weekend, and guess who is going to miss his show... Again?! You guessed it!!

I feel like a fuckin loser..

I know great things come to those who wait, but I've been out of a job for a month now.. How much longer do I have?! I already decided to wait until the Fall to go back to school since I have to get my taxes straight, but that's only 1 thing off my plate for now.. Mom dukes is looking for help with bills & I don't have it.. It's not like I'm not trying, nothing is coming back to me.. I guess it's time to just go get whatever I can to support myself again & my dream position will come..

Stupid me..

I say the wrong things, leaving my heart to handle it later.. And it can't fathom being without you..

I love you too much to not make this right..

Happy New Year!!! No resolutions.. Just goals!

Hope you had a safe, enjoyable New Years! I personally went to church and could of stayed in the bed.. But it was what it could be.. My sister & aunt surprised us & came into town for the weekend.. So my holiday was cool.

My goals for this year:
>Find work.. Being broke is not an option..
>Pay my car off.
>Travel to Memphis for my love thang..
>COLLEGE!!!
>Live life happy, carefree, stress-free, & in love..