Random Thoughts for 10/29/09

So yesterday I was talking to my mom about my plans for 2010 and how I wanted to do a lot of traveling and such. When I mentioned me and my longtime ex/current/next love may be going to DC for New Years she went off. I understand her reason to be angry but being the person that I am, she should know I like to do things my way until I realize I have failed. And so far I'm not done trying my hand at love with this guy.. I just feel like maybe it is meant to be this way.. Maybe he is the one.. I don't want to fail at this, only because she'll be right there saying I told you so! I even told him that and he was like let's prove everybody wrong babe.. My emotions are getting the best of me.. If he says the right thing, I fall for it.. If he plans to take me out and at the last minute bails, I get upset but forgive him the next time. ((Currently getting choked up))

I hate my job. Well not really hate, just have a strong dislike for it. I haven't had a raise in about a year yet I'm still here and NO body is talking money. The owner is in the middle of this nasty separation/divorce and her future ex hubby stole over $32Gs from her so she's struggling. She was even talking about closing the company, which would leave ME without a job.. I'm currently looking for something different.. I can't keep coming in here and keep slacking on the job without somebody noticing..

I just feel bleh.. I know someone is reading this like "Damn girl, cheer up".. My period is coming and my emotions are all across the board.. I haven't been to the gym in almost 2 weeks and it shows... Been in everybody's scalp making them look cute while I'm walking around looking like a hot damn mess.. I'm taking some me time this weekend and try to pull Me together..

Static - Kenna