Inspired.

I was originally going to name this entry '2013 & I'm out of here!', but I was recently inspired. For the longest, I've been talking about leaving Virginia for New York or anywhere honestly. I always find some reason as to why I can't leave right now or in the near future and sometimes they are legit reason, but last night my sister's friend completely inspired me to do it! He said & I quote "I went to NY with a bag & $40. I haven't came back home for anything since!". Shocked & amazed, I felt like such a fool for making all these excuses as to why I couldn't just uproot myself & leave. I have family I could stay with, a hustle that is legal & produces a decent amount of money, and the determination to not want to stay in this state (physically & mentally)any longer. As soon as my mom is back to 110%, I'm doing it! No obstacle is too big! (That's my 2012 motto).
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Part 2 of I let go & he got married.

Forgot to add earlier that his new wife is pregnant annnnd he just posted the sonogram on Facebook. I think I need him out of my life completely.
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I want to go shopping!!

I need a job. I have never been a girl who loved shopping until I couldn't afford to do it. I'm almost (like coming up to the breaking point) ready to get a job anywhere so I can go shopping. And pay off all these new medical bills I accrued for being sick this Summer. (Is paying bills 'shopping'?) I need to pay all my debt off so I can go ahead with my plans to get out of Virginia (upcoming post on that).

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I let go & he got married.

Am I the only one with that one ex who no matter what, has always came back? It didn't matter what the situation was, but after the breakup, you knew there was still a chance?

So I randomly was browsing my Facebook news feed & I see that he changed his status from 'Engaged' to 'Married'. I knew about his engagement, straight from him and with me still having feelings & being jealous (still working on that) I just knew it wasn't going to happen. He even said he was kind of not in a rush to not go thru with it for some unknown reason. On one hand I thought/wished he would want to give us a try again.. But on the other hand, he said he was happy.

He's called me once before he got married and once after. I really don't even want to talk to him, guess that's why I've missed both calls and haven't called him back. Oh well, another one bites the dust.
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All of the 'Ifs'.

-If I had my own place, the plans I have for the weekend would be to do a little dinner party for my homeboy's birthday.
-If I lived in NY/NJ, going to my cousin's birthday party wouldn't be a second thought.

Those are 2 major 'Ifs' I wouldn't have to think about, but I do. Can't change them at the moment, but I will.

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